I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
