happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
