Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
