I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
