That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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