One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
