um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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