Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize