is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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