So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
