I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
