i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
