i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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