What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
