dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She tied me up with her honor cords...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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