this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
