the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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