You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
