i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
