ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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