Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
