break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
