It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He felt like a one man threesome
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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