By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
