so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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