sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
