really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
