3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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