Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
