the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
