he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am available for nakedness
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
