and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
