im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
