just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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