He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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