Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Boobs are out for the taking
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize