I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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