Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
