We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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