I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
