When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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