Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
