We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
