I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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