I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
This house was built for laser tag.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
