I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
