Plan B is the new Plan A
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The air was thick with penises
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
