Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
