dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
