I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it was like eating out sand paper
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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