Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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