What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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