I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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