doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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