i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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