What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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