i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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