Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This is not my ceiling
id be glad to
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
