I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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