I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
