Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize