Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
