HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
