her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
