so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
