her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
