he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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