i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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