You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
